Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
