I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
