1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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