I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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