I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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