DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
