Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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