Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize