covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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