how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
