It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
my poor anus
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
