the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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