Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dignity is for republicans.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
