You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
