yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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