mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
