Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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