I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
