it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
