oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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