Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
