Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
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I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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