Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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