Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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