dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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