Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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