im drinking this country out of the recession.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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