if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
