Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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