Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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