nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
