Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
