Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
