Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
