This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
