I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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