i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i now understand why vodka
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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