He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
