I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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