the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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