dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
this boner is exhausting
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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