Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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