Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize