I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my phone needs a breathalizer
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
