Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
