Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
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