Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
