Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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