Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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