he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
