CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize