I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
