anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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