Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
