I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
