I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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