Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
