Sponge bath it is.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize