You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
