just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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